Has it really been 3 years?!

Three years ago today I got my gym membership. Three years ago I decided to grow up, stop making excuses, and take control of my life. I was 22 years old, five months out of college, and very overweight. I was lazy, and unhealthy, but I was ready to change. And it was the best decision I have ever made.

I was reeeeallllllly hoping that I would have gotten the hang of self-hosted blogging by now, because this would have been a perfect first post on my new blog. But I am so clueless when it comes to computer coding and the internet. It's taking me some time to learn how to set up, and design a blog. I have bought my domain name, and found a place to self-host. Now I am focusing on the design. I may eventually seek out some help and pay a blog designer, but for right now I am trying to learn it all myself. I think it will be useful for me in the long run. Any resources would be much appreciated!

The first year that I wrote about my gymiversary, it was solely based on weight loss. I still had a lot to learn, and a long way to go. The second year I focused on loving myself, loving my body, and loving fitness. I still love all of these things, so what will I focus on this year? No clue. I don't actively obsess about losing weight anymore, and I still love fitness. So what the heck do I write about? What have I learned in the last 3 years? So much, but so little. Let's break it down:

1) Find your perfect gym. I love my gym. I go to the YWCA in Uptown Minneapolis, and I truly think all of my success belongs to this place. I walk in and instantly I feel at home. I love the facility, the classes, the staff, the teachers, the trainers, and the other gym goers. Sometimes I can't believe I have been a member for 3 whole years. And others times I can't believe it took me 22 years to find my place.

I think it took around two months to muster up the courage to walk to the gym, and join. Everyday I thought about how different my life would be if I could just lose some weight. I have no idea what finally clicked, but I am so glad it finally did. I don't know if I have shared this on here before, but this commercial would get stuck in my head a lot.



2) Love yourself healthy. I struggle everyday with hating my body. My body doesn't like losing weight, and my metabolism is sooooo slowwwwww. I can maintain and gain very easily, but my body get's so comfortable hovering at the same weight. This is great when I am at a weight I like, but this really drives me insane when I am actively trying to lose weight. I think it's safe to say I can maybe, just maybe lose a pound a month, even when trying. This makes me want to give up. This makes me hate my body.

But then I realize how incredibly lucky I am. I have all of my limbs, and they work correctly. I'm not sick, no cancer, no bed rest, I don't have chronic pain. I can walk, run, hop, jump, bike, stand, etc. Some people have to face obstacles such as only having one arm, or daily body aches, and yet I am throwing myself a pity party for my slow metabolism? Jeeze, I really needed to gain some perspective.

I have one body, and one life. Why spend so much of my energy hating my body? Feeding it all the wrong things? I can move anytime I want to, why was I taking that for granted? I am so fortunate to wake up everyday and be in good health. Now, I eat healthy, and I work out because I appreciate my health, and my body. I am trying to love myself healthy!

3) With health and fitness, there is never an end point. Three years ago I always imagined this magical end spot. A point in my life when I could be done dieting, and working out. I kept thinking that once I reach such and such weight, I will be able to eat whatever I want. This was such a silly notion. With food and fitness you are never done. You can always, always grow. You can become stronger, and better. You can explore different areas of fitness. You can set new goals for yourself. Same with nutrition, you can always try different foods, recipes, diet plans.

I love the journey. I have fully accepted that fitness will always be a part of my life. Gaining weight will always be a part of my life. And fighting to lose weight is just a part of who I am. A very wise girl once told me that if you're not fighting a muffin top, you're not living. And I couldn't agree more!

12/17/13

December 17th, 2013. That was the last time that I wrote a blog post. That's about 8 months. 8 months with no posting, no update, no nothing. It doesn't feel like it has been that long. It's true that life is what happens while we are busy making other plans.

That notion pretty much sums up my existence. I feel like I am in constant state of day dreaming, and goal making. What will make my life better? What will make me happier? How can I make this world a better place? Shouldn't I have accomplished more by now? I don't think I will ever, ever find the right answer to any of these questions. And by looking ahead, I am failing to see the now.

So what I have I been doing in the last 8 months? Well, let me sum it up:

• I worked night shifts in a group home. I really loved the clients, and the experience but left because I was offered a day time position that paid significantly more. 
• I then worked for an international staffing agency as an administrative assistant. After 6 months I realized that this position was not getting me any closer to my future goals. 
• Resigned. 
• I felt too stressed for the gym, and my work schedule didn't allow me to attend the classes that I love. I averaged 3 days a week for those 6 months. Sadly I probably needed the gym the most during that time. 
• Tried early morning work outs; hated them. I never felt like I was properly fueled. 
• I ate all the wrong foods. Aren't offices just the worst? A constant stream of treats, and pressure. 
• Gained 10 pounds from working in said office. 
• Drank beer all summer, washing it down with junk from the gas station. 
• Did not lose that 10 pounds, but did not gain more (a small win considering all the beer consumption).
• Enrolled in the NASM personal training program. Finally, it only took two years of talking about it. 

And that brings me to today. It's my 25th birthday. And I have never felt more lost. This last year was probably the most frustrating year of my life. I felt sad, helpless, nervous, overwhelmed, and hopeful. I am learning that being lost is a part of life. I truly believe everyone is blindly stumbling through life, hoping that they are doing it right. 

Currently I am learning to embrace the uncertainty of life. I am learning not to care about what other people think. This task is most definitely the hardest challenge I will overcome in my lifetime. If I thought weight loss was hard, I was wrong. I have spent too much time guiding my life by what other people may think, and I am done. If the disaster that was my life this last year has taught me anything, it's to be grateful for what I have, and to do, act, dress, and live how I see best fit for my life. 

So what's next? Well as I said 8 months ago (gosh does time fly), I want to give the blog a face lift. Losing weight doesn't define my life anymore. And it is not going to define my blog anymore. I don't obsess over the scale. I cannot measure, and track my food anymore. I cannot diet anymore. I try my hardest to be healthy (mentally and physically) but sometimes I stumble, and eat a whole bag of combos. It happens, and it's okay-the 7 layer combos are amazing, just saying. 

This blog will still be aimed at weight loss (ahem, those 10 extra pounds I gained), but it will also be aimed at healthy living, weight training, and my overall daily struggles. So please be patient, and stick with me. I promise it will be worth it! 

Life Lately

I have been absent lately. Very absent. I am in process of converting my blog over to wordpress. But before I do that I am thinking of changing the name of the blog. Mostly because my domain name is taken, but also because I think it's time for the blog to receive a face lift. I started this blog to document weight loss. I haven't lost weight in a year, it's about time I reevaluate what it is I want to write about.

Anyway, I thought now would be a good time to reflect on life as of now. You know what question I hate the most? "What have you been up to lately?" I find it hard to answer, and when I can't think of anything I feel super boring. 

But recently The Fitnessista wrote a blog post with random updates, and I thought it was so clever so I am completely copying her post idea. Check out her original, and show her some love. She is probably my favorite blogger to follow. She is so real, knowledgeable, and creative. 

Needing: New boots. I need some new winter boots to keep me warm and dry. I was going to use rain boots, but they already broke.... Never mind the fact that they were only $10 from Kohls. 

Enjoying: The company of a friend who is in town for the week. 

Cooking: Pretty much nothing lately. Lot's of quick meals, like salads, yogurt, and far too many holiday sweets. Or ordering bar food to go because my roommate and I were really wanting to eat dinner braless in our PJs and most bars would look down upon that!

Drinking: Homemade mulled wine. 

Wanting: A heart rate monitor. And to win the lottery... One of these things is more likely to happen. 

Looking: At all the snow and wondering how I am going to remain sane for the next 3-5 months until spring arrives.

Hoping: That I can adjust to working an evening shift, or getting a day shift. I recently began a job that has me working from 3-11 and I am having the toughest time adjusting.

Making:  Life choices are a lot harder then anyone let on. Being an adult is overrated, liberating, and wonderful at the exact same time. 

Doing: My best to get to the gym. I am not a morning work out person. I can't eat or drink within about an hour of waking up, but if I don't eat before the gym then I feel really faint. And if I wait until I eat, then I feel full, and lethargic. Can't win.  Additionally I am just not jiving with any of the morning classes offered. 

Wishing: That I was taking a vacation this winter. All inclusive trip to Mexico, please! 

Wondering: What the future has in store for my siblings. I want them to enjoy their youth, but I cannot wait to find out what kind of adults they will be!

Loving: Food, more than I should. I am always, always focusing on my next meal. 

Feeling: Very fortunate lately. It's funny how awesome life can seem when you start counting your blessings, instead of focusing on the bad. Common knowledge, but I am experiencing it first hand. 

Thinking: That someday I want to be a business owner. I want to be the boss, and have minions. Or have an online business and make my own hours. 

Knowing:  That I will own my own business someday, because I tend to achieve what I want and work for. 

Following: The news for mlb trades and free agent updates.

Wearing: A lot of casual clothes because my job doesn't require dressing up. If only it were casual enough for me to wear pjs....how awesome would that be?

5 for Friday: Sexiest Men Edition

I'm assuming everyone has now seen that Adam Levine was crowned Sexiest Man Alive. And there is some drama surrounding this. Some women (and gays) think that Justin Timberlake deserved it more. I don't agree with either of these choices, so I figured I would create my own list of sexy men.

James Franco 

My ultimate Hollywood crush, without a doubt, is James Franco. I fell in love with him after Tristan and Isolde (if you haven't seen this movie you are missing out) and my love for him has only grown. He is handsome, talented, versatile in his roles, and intelligent. He is a film professor for Grad studies at UCLA, and is working on obtaining his Ph.D. I just adore him.

Joseph Gordon Levitt

Yes. Yes to alllllll of this. As a kid I had a crush on him when he was in Third Rock from the Sun. And I love him even more today. He has a great voice and loves to sing. He is just so damn cute, witty, and quirky. If you still need a reason to love Joseph Gordon Levitt, here are 42 reasons. 

Gilles Marini

Yum, yum, yummmm! He is such an attractive man, talented man. And he has an accent. Besides being sexy, he is French-American, served in the French Army before coming the America. He is just building his acting career, but I have enjoyed almost every single one of his roles, including his time on Dancing with the Stars.

Gabriel Macht 

Clearly I tend to be attracted to men with dark features, especially brunettes. But I don't discriminate, and I also love me some blondies. Gabriel Macht was in Because I Said So, he was such a hunk in that movie. Now he can be seen in the show Suits, and he is even more irresistible. 

And of course no list would be completed without: 

Ryan Gosling 

I have been a Ryan Gosling fan since day one. Before all of this "Hey Girl" stuff started, I still remember swooning over his character in Remember the Titans. And I still think that his best role was in The Notebook. His career only continues to grow, and gets hotter with every passing day. 

So now that I am all hot and bothered, it's your turn.... who makes your list of sexiest man alive? Do you agree with the Adam Levine choice? 

Link-Up! 

Butternut Squash for Lunch

I always envy those people who can just throw a bunch of ingredients together and have it turn into a gorgeous, delicious meal. My cooking style is very much about slopping shit together, which is exactly what it turns out to be, slop! It normally tastes good, but it doesn't always look very appetizing. 

Today I happened to throw some shit together and actually have it look appealing. It was easy, didn't take a lot of time, and was healthy. That is what we call a win! 

Ingredients:

prepackaged, cubed butternut squash

cherry tomatoes 

frozen spinach 

1 egg 

fresh parmesan cheese or whatever kind you like

salt and pepper 

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Open the bag of cubed butternut squash and throw them onto a baking sheet. Spray the squash with non-fat cooking oil and sprinkle salt and pepper on top. Put in oven for 20-30 minutes, or until they are starting to turn brown. I didn't have to flip or shake the pan, but you sure could to avoid the squash from sticking. 

2. Use cooking spray to coat a pan, and place over medium heat. Cut the tomatoes into thirds, and place the pieces into the pan. Throw in a few handfuls of frozen spinach and saute this mixture until the spinach is fully cooked. I had a lot of water left over in the pan, so I drained it out. 

3. Make an egg however you like. I love an egg that has a runny yolk, so I make mine over easy. 

4. Once the squash is done, place some into a bowl. Top the squash with the tomato/spinach mixture. Grate some fresh parmesan cheese on top, and then delicately place the egg on top. 

5. Pierce the egg to release the yolk, take some pictures (because you are so damn proud of how pretty it looks), and then stuff your face (this is the most important part)!

Volia!

I posted this picture to my intsagram because I was pleased as punch with the final result!

Next time I would add onion and garlic to make it even more delicious! Red chili pepper flakes and sriracha would also add a great kick!

Health Lesson: Butternut squash is a great vegetable to incorporate into your diet whenever you are getting bored with the same old vegetables. It's a total power food. It's low in calories, high in fiber and vitamin C, and contains potassium, magnesium, and calcium. This makes it a great immune booster, as well as an antioxidant. And if you are like me and hate chopping up a large squash, opt for the prepackaged bags that you can find at Trader Joe's, and most grocery stores (next to the salad bags). 

Family Bonding

Last week I was able to spend 5 days at home. And it was wonderful. Which is not usually the reaction that I have while staying in my hometown. It's not exactly my favorite place to be, but this time it was different. I have finally embraced the notion that home is wherever my family is. I would really love to move out of the tundra that is Minnesota, but I know I would miss my family. A lot.

I sort of have my own little modern family. My mom and dad were never married, and both got married to other people after I was born. My parents get along very well, which I appreciate. I never had to deal with a messy divorce, or choosing my favorite parent. My dad got married and had two additional children, which gave me a little sister and brother. My mom got married and never had any other children, but my step dad already had older children. Truly I have the best of both worlds, I am an only child, and have siblings. I have a set of living grandparents, and I am their only grandchild. I honestly couldn't ask for a better situation.

My dad and step mom divorced about 9 years ago, but remain close. My step mom had another daughter with someone else. I refer to her as my little sister's little sister (confused yet?), but I most definitely consider both my ex-step mom and my sister's sister a part of my family. Divorce means nothing to me or my family. It's not an end, it's just an adjustment.

While I was home I was able to reflect on how truly blessed that I am. I know this probably sounds corny, but I so rarely take the time to stop and count my blessings. After my trip I was left with chills at the thought of how outrageously in love I am with my family. I am proud of every single one of them. And I feel a connection to every single one of them. There is such power in having people in your life who will love you no matter what. And feeling the same love toward them.

Now is the time of year to be thankful. To count blessings. And to reflect on what we have, and not on what we need. I hope this post can serve as a reminder to really appreciate the people that you have in your life. Whether they are blood relatives, or the people you have chosen to be your family. Chose today to be the day that you send a message and remind them that you are thinking of them. A little sentiment can really go a long way!

Five Randoms

Five on Friday! Check out the link up! Today I am going to share five random things that you maybe don't know about me. 

[one]
I live for the perfect cup of coffee, but I am unable to make the perfect cup of coffee at home. I always end up making the coffee too strong, or not adding enough milk, or making it too sweet. But when I actually accomplish making the perfect cup of coffee there is really nothing better in this world.

[two]
Speaking of coffee, my favorite place to get coffee is from Dunkin Donuts (or Starbucks) but Minnesota doesn't have Dunks. Same goes for Jack in the Box, it's my favorite fast food, but we don't have this either. Stupid Midwest.

[three]
I always have a ton of tabs open, and I hate when I accidentally ex out a page, which happens a lot. I don't get mad easily, however this brings me some serious rage.

[four]
I don't like Christmas (I know, everyone loves Christmas, but I don't), but oddly enough I love Christmas music. It's weird, I can't explain it. Although I don't want to listen to it until December, please don't rush that shit.

[five]
I HAVE to sleep with sheets, top and fitted. Some people can sleep with just a comforter, but I NEED a top sheet or everything feels weird.

So tell me, where do you love getting coffee? Do you need to sleep with sheets? Or am I the only one?