Will I Be Dieting Forever?

My journey to my perfect weight has been a very turbulent and sometimes a very frustrating ride. Since joining Weight Watchers in April, my weight has consistently been dropping. Stepping onto the scale was exciting because I knew that I was only going to be dropping in weight. And then the month of August hit. This month has not been very kind to me, or rather I have not been kind to myself in the month of August. I started the month weighing the exact same thing that I do today. In fact, in mid-July I weighed less than I do now. When summer started I thought that I would finally hit the 50 pound weight loss mark by my birthday (September 4th). However, I am currently at 44 pounds gone, so unless I starve myself and take laxatives for the next 4 days, I don't see the 50 pound weight loss goal happening. Although, I have to stop and remember that 44 pounds lost is still pretty awesome.

So now is the time when I need to reflect on the past month and figure out why my weight is standing still. My exercise routine has not changed at all, so I know that this weight plateau is 100% to blame on the mounds of unhealthy foods that I have been shoveling into my pie hole. I have been so so so bad about tracking my WW points.  The minute I stopped tracking what I was consuming, I stopped thinking about what I was eating. I am guessing that this all started the first weekend in August when I went on a camping trip. I tried my hardest to eat healthily while camping but of course I indulged in a s'more. Or five. And the minute I allowed myself to stray away from my diet, I went on an all out binge. Okay, that's not true, but for the month of August I really allowed myself to eat more liberally than I had been in recent months.

I went out to eat a lot more than I did before. And instead of getting a veggie burger with a side salad, I found myself ordering a side of sweet potato fries. For the past few months I have avoided work parties and any sort of treats that were hanging around our office, but for some reason this month I had no self control. I am usually good at saying no to parties, but this month I went to every last work event. And because I attended all of these parties, I indulged in desserts, which is odd because I don't usually have a strong sweet teeth. But the minute I have one sweet thing, I want any sort of sweet that I can get my hands on. Lastly, I consumed A TON of pizza. Well, I had 3 different times this month that I indulged on pizza, which may not seem like a ton, but before the month of August I had not had pizza in months. But come on, I was in Chicago, I had to try the deep dish. And let it be stated that I am damn lucky that I don't live in Chicago, because I would be eating deep dish weekly daily!

In the last week I have desperately been trying to change my behavior and get back to my strong willed ways, but man, is it tough. This month was rough because I went camping, I spent a weekend at the lake, and a weekend in Chicago. So I really strayed away from my everyday life and routine.  Even though I haven't lost any weight this month, I have thoroughly enjoyed the past 4 weeks, and I have loved every bit of food that I have consumed. Which sucks! I mean, I am glad to know that I can maintain a steady weight, but I am still not happy with the weight that I am at, and I would like to lose more. So I am currently feeling aggravated at the thought of having to diet forever. Okay, forever is a little dramatic, but I will definitely have to keep restricting myself for like another year. Ugh! But once that year is up, you better believe that I will be in Chicago, eating deep dish, loving my new and improved body!

Getting Back to my Cheese Lovin' Roots!

One of the main reasons that I cannot make the switch from vegetarian to vegan is because I can't imagine a life without cheese. Unfortunately I am one of those people who has an obsession with cheese. I feel as though loving cheese is a curse and a blessing, because as I am indulging in a gourmet chunk of cheese, I am simultaneously feeling joy and guilt. I couldn't even tell you what my favorite kind of cheese is, because I love so many kinds of cheese. I could probably devour a whole block of cheese, if I allowed myself to do so. Oh, who am I kidding, I could probably polish off 3 blocks of cheese and still want more. Luckily the grocery stores in my neighborhood offer small sample sizes, so I only spend about $2.00 and am not tempted by a huge block of cheese sitting in my refrigerator.

The bad part is that I have recently been influenced by a fellow cheese lover to browse the expensive cheese section at Whole Foods. And now, I am even more obsessed with cheese than I was before. Let this serve as a warning to those of you who equally cannot say no to cheese; stay away from the gourmet cheese section. I mean it. Especially at Whole Foods, they provide you with samples just to lure you in, those sneaky bastards!

So now after I have gushed about my obsession with cheese, my next confession may come as a surprise. I don't usually put cheese in or on what I am eating. If I am making a salad, I don't add cheese. On my Chipotle burrito bowl, I don't add cheese. On most of my veggie burgers, I don't add cheese. I think you get the picture. Anyway, I rarely add cheese to things because I usually can't taste it or don't notice it. With a burrito bowl, there are so many other flavors that I don't even notice the cheese, so why bother adding the extra calories?

It's not that I don't put cheese on anything, but before adding cheese to something I make sure that the cheese will enhance the flavor of the dish. If I am making scrambled eggs, I will add cheese, but if I am putting salsa on top of my eggs, I will not add cheese, because the salsa is such a strong flavor. In most cases, I would rather just eat a slice of cheese plain and fully enjoy the flavor. Plus by enjoying a slice of cheese it serves as a snack, rather than extra points in a meal. So far, eating small slices of cheese satisfies my cravings, but also allows me to still lose weight.

When I was thinking about writing this post, I had an aha moment; I had this outlook even before I was conscience of dieting. When I was a kid, I used to order a cheese burger with the cheese on the side, because I just wanted to eat the cheese plain. So now, 18 years later, I still enjoy eating cheese all by itself. No crackers, no bread, no pastas. Just plain cheese. And now that I have gotten back to my cheese lovin' roots, I am going to continue to exclusively indulge in small servings of cheese, savoring every single slice!