10.31.2014

Has it really been 3 years?!

Three years ago today I got my gym membership. Three years ago I decided to grow up, stop making excuses, and take control of my life. I was 22 years old, five months out of college, and very overweight. I was lazy, and unhealthy, but I was ready to change. And it was the best decision I have ever made.

I was reeeeallllllly hoping that I would have gotten the hang of self-hosted blogging by now, because this would have been a perfect first post on my new blog. But I am so clueless when it comes to computer coding and the internet. It's taking me some time to learn how to set up, and design a blog. I have bought my domain name, and found a place to self-host. Now I am focusing on the design. I may eventually seek out some help and pay a blog designer, but for right now I am trying to learn it all myself. I think it will be useful for me in the long run. Any resources would be much appreciated!

The first year that I wrote about my gymiversary, it was solely based on weight loss. I still had a lot to learn, and a long way to go. The second year I focused on loving myself, loving my body, and loving fitness. I still love all of these things, so what will I focus on this year? No clue. I don't actively obsess about losing weight anymore, and I still love fitness. So what the heck do I write about? What have I learned in the last 3 years? So much, but so little. Let's break it down:

1) Find your perfect gym. I love my gym. I go to the YWCA in Uptown Minneapolis, and I truly think all of my success belongs to this place. I walk in and instantly I feel at home. I love the facility, the classes, the staff, the teachers, the trainers, and the other gym goers. Sometimes I can't believe I have been a member for 3 whole years. And others times I can't believe it took me 22 years to find my place.

I think it took around two months to muster up the courage to walk to the gym, and join. Everyday I thought about how different my life would be if I could just lose some weight. I have no idea what finally clicked, but I am so glad it finally did. I don't know if I have shared this on here before, but this commercial would get stuck in my head a lot.



2) Love yourself healthy. I struggle everyday with hating my body. My body doesn't like losing weight, and my metabolism is sooooo slowwwwww. I can maintain and gain very easily, but my body get's so comfortable hovering at the same weight. This is great when I am at a weight I like, but this really drives me insane when I am actively trying to lose weight. I think it's safe to say I can maybe, just maybe lose a pound a month, even when trying. This makes me want to give up. This makes me hate my body.

But then I realize how incredibly lucky I am. I have all of my limbs, and they work correctly. I'm not sick, no cancer, no bed rest, I don't have chronic pain. I can walk, run, hop, jump, bike, stand, etc. Some people have to face obstacles such as only having one arm, or daily body aches, and yet I am throwing myself a pity party for my slow metabolism? Jeeze, I really needed to gain some perspective.

I have one body, and one life. Why spend so much of my energy hating my body? Feeding it all the wrong things? I can move anytime I want to, why was I taking that for granted? I am so fortunate to wake up everyday and be in good health. Now, I eat healthy, and I work out because I appreciate my health, and my body. I am trying to love myself healthy!

3) With health and fitness, there is never an end point. Three years ago I always imagined this magical end spot. A point in my life when I could be done dieting, and working out. I kept thinking that once I reach such and such weight, I will be able to eat whatever I want. This was such a silly notion. With food and fitness you are never done. You can always, always grow. You can become stronger, and better. You can explore different areas of fitness. You can set new goals for yourself. Same with nutrition, you can always try different foods, recipes, diet plans.

I love the journey. I have fully accepted that fitness will always be a part of my life. Gaining weight will always be a part of my life. And fighting to lose weight is just a part of who I am. A very wise girl once told me that if you're not fighting a muffin top, you're not living. And I couldn't agree more!

9.04.2014

12/17/13

December 17th, 2013. That was the last time that I wrote a blog post. That's about 8 months. 8 months with no posting, no update, no nothing. It doesn't feel like it has been that long. It's true that life is what happens while we are busy making other plans.

That notion pretty much sums up my existence. I feel like I am in constant state of day dreaming, and goal making. What will make my life better? What will make me happier? How can I make this world a better place? Shouldn't I have accomplished more by now? I don't think I will ever, ever find the right answer to any of these questions. And by looking ahead, I am failing to see the now.

So what I have I been doing in the last 8 months? Well, let me sum it up:

  • I worked night shifts in a group home. I really loved the clients, and the experience but left because I was offered a day time position that paid significantly more. 
  • I then worked for an international staffing agency as an administrative assistant. After 6 months I realized that this position was not getting me any closer to my future goals. 
  • Resigned. 
  • I felt too stressed for the gym, and my work schedule didn't allow me to attend the classes that I love. I averaged 3 days a week for those 6 months. Sadly I probably needed the gym the most during that time. 
  • Tried early morning work outs; hated them. I never felt like I was properly fueled. 
  • I ate all the wrong foods. Aren't offices just the worst? A constant stream of treats, and pressure. 
  • Gained 10 pounds from working in said office. 
  • Drank beer all summer, washing it down with junk from the gas station. 
  • Did not lose that 10 pounds, but did not gain more (a small win considering all the beer consumption).
  • Enrolled in the NASM personal training program. Finally, it only took two years of talking about it. 
And that brings me to today. It's my 25th birthday. And I have never felt more lost. This last year was probably the most frustrating year of my life. I felt sad, helpless, nervous, overwhelmed, and hopeful. I am learning that being lost is a part of life. I truly believe everyone is blindly stumbling through life, hoping that they are doing it right. 

Currently I am learning to embrace the uncertainty of life. I am learning not to care about what other people think. This task is most definitely the hardest challenge I will overcome in my lifetime. If I thought weight loss was hard, I was wrong. I have spent too much time guiding my life by what other people may think, and I am done. If the disaster that was my life this last year has taught me anything, it's to be grateful for what I have, and to do, act, dress, and live how I see best fit for my life. 

So what's next? Well as I said 8 months ago (gosh does time fly), I want to give the blog a face lift. Losing weight doesn't define my life anymore. And it is not going to define my blog anymore. I don't obsess over the scale. I cannot measure, and track my food anymore. I cannot diet anymore. I try my hardest to be healthy (mentally and physically) but sometimes I stumble, and eat a whole bag of combos. It happens, and it's okay-the 7 layer combos are amazing, just saying. 

This blog will still be aimed at weight loss (ahem, those 10 extra pounds I gained), but it will also be aimed at healthy living, weight training, and my overall daily struggles. So please be patient, and stick with me. I promise it will be worth it! 
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