Support=Success

Over the summer I watched a great deal of the show "Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition." And to say that I am obsessed is an understatement. I love watching people who are able to fight their demons, and push themselves past their limits because it gives me such inspiration to keep going on my journey. I end up sitting in front of the TV crying because I am so touched by each and every weight loss story. Seriously. Don't judge me, we all have our moments of emotional weakness. Mine just happens to be over a reality show. Okay, maybe you can judge me a little.

Through watching this show and trying to connect it to my own weight loss experience, I have noticed a major theme that contributes to the success or failure of weight loss, and that's support from friends or family. A person can be very motivated to change their unhealthy eating habits, but most of the time an individual is only as strong as their environment. If their spouse, roommate or other family members are still indulging in unhealthy behaviors, the individual trying to lose weight will be more likely to fall back into bad eating/exercising patterns.

In order to lose weight you need to change your current lifestyle. To see results you can't keep eating what you are currently, you have to become more active and you have to really want to change. I have spent my lifetime thinking that I would just one day wake up and be skinny. If obsessing over becoming skinny was actually the way to lose weight, I would be a size 0 by now. But the difference between obsessing 5 years ago and obsessing today is that today, I actually want change and I am actually doing something to change my situation. Now the closest thing to waking up and already being skinny, is waking up and actually wanting to change your life, which of course is what I refer to as the aha moment. Once you have experienced that aha moment, it's time to actually change your behavior and start kicking some ass.

Adopting a healthier lifestyle is completely up to you and you alone, however, having support makes the journey sooooo much easier. I have been on this path to weight loss for the last 11 months and I have found support in places that I never thought I would and I have learned that support can show itself in many ways. For me, the best kind of support has been from the people who encourage me to go to the gym. I have an awesome work out partner who will cart my ass to the gym, and attend the class with me or be willing to try a crazy new class. We don't go together every time, but just having company a few times a week is wonderful and it keeps me honest and motivated.

This type of support can also come in the form of people not discouraging me from attending the gym. Whenever my mom is in town visiting, she knows that going to the gym is part of my routine and she never suggests that I skip it. Normally I would be inclined to skip the gym and hang out with her, but knowing that she wants me to go the gym makes it so much easier to go, get it over with and then hang out. Similarly, at work, if someone asks to go out for a happy hour, the people that I feel the most support from are the ones that accept my absence and don't give me a hard time about going to the gym instead.

The people that I do not feel support from are the people who can't quite relate to being overweight or can't relate to having will power.  My grandma is a very sweet lady, she is kind, generous and loving. The problem with this is that she tends to show her love through food. Ever since I was a young girl, she has been showering me with candy, chips, and desserts. Now that I have grown up, started exercising, and cut out all of the junk food, my grandma expresses how proud she is of me. In one sentence she tells me how proud she is, and the next sentence she is trying to shove cupcakes down my throat. Her justification is that "Oh, you can have just a little bit." This is not support. I did not lose weight by cheating.

The problem with this thinking is that "just a little bit" turns into a lot of little bits, and eventually you stop losing any weight, and possibly even gain weight. Saying that you support someone and actually giving support are two very different things. So in speaking from experience, here are some ways to support someone on their weight loss journey :

1) Never discourage them from going to the gym. Don't ever say: "You can skip the gym tonight, and just go tomorrow."
2) Don't eat someone's favorite food in front of them and say: "Just this once, you can have a little."
3) Don't keep bad food in tempting places. 
4) If they are having a bad day, don't bring them a pastry or some other sort of treat filled with lard. This just encourages emotional eating.
5) Go to the gym with them! Most gyms allow people to bring a guest.
6) Go for a walk, or a run with them. Encourage activity. If your friend is trying to lose weight, instead of catching up over dinner and drinks, suggest going shopping or to a farmers market!
7) If you are also dieting and exercising and want to have a slip-up day, don't bring anyone else down with you!

And if for some reason I am not being clear enough and you are confused on how to support someone, I want this to be the one piece of advice that you take away. 

8) If someone looks thinner or like they have lost weight, TELL THEM!! The best compliment and  the best motivation is when someone asks me if I have lost weight. I get giddy and I am less likely to have a slip up that day.