I'm Still Alive.

For the last week I have been thinking that I should really write a blog post because it's been awhile. So today when I went to start typing I noticed that my last blog post was April 22nd.....it's been a whole month since I have rambled on and on about being fat. 

The reason that I have not written a post in a month is because I have not felt tied to my weight loss journey. I have not dropped a pound since Christmas time. My weight has been dancing between 5-6 pounds for almost five whole months. Frustrating. 

So instead of driving myself completely crazy I decided to stop obsessing and just enjoy my body at it's current weight. I have accomplished a lot, and instead of loathing my body, I have spent some time trying to love it. I no longer consider myself to be obese, but I also don't consider myself to be skinny. I still have about 30-40 pounds that I would like to lose. 

For the last month I have ate and drank pretty freely. Not crazy, but just not keeping track of points or calories. It has felt great. I think it was the break that I needed. God, if I ate what I wanted to I have no doubt that I would gain ten pounds in one month. 

But as I have realized I cannot eat that way, so after a month of doing what I wanted I am back in the diet game. I have quit Weight Watchers in an attempt to save money and shake up my diet. I am now on My Fitness Pal and I have decided to try counting calories again. Normally I hate calorie counting but I am willing to give it another try. At least until I can see the scale moving again. Who knows, maybe this time I won't feel so deprived by counting calories.