Why I Love Fitness

My relationship with the gym is a very love hate kind of thing. All throughout my life I hated, HATED, working out. It seemed like a hassle. Who the hell wants to work up a sweat, have a racing heart, and be out of breath? Nowadays the answer is me. But back then I thought of fitness as stupid and unnecessary.

Then fast forward to October 31st, 2011. The day that I decided it was time to get my ass in gear. The day that I got my gym membership. The day that changed my life in more ways than I could have ever imagined. 

I originally started working out to lose weight. Because I had to. I was tired of being fat, and I knew that fitness was going to get me to where I wanted to be. Food plays a big role as well, but I have done plenty of bitching about food on this blog, today is about fitness. 

So when I started, the only thing that was motivating my work outs was getting the fat to melt off. Which it did not do. My weight loss journey has been very slowwwww. Which is okay because I think it means that the weight will stay off.

Anyway, in the beginning I still did not like working out. It wasn't until I found some fitness classes with awesome instructors that I kinda started to like fitness. And still, I only moderately liked these classes. I would still have preferred to be sitting on my couch. These classes were just more fun than the elliptical so I continued to go. 

Then something started to happen. My endurance started to go up. The classes that once were so challenging were becoming doable. I could physically feel myself getting stronger. And I liked it. I started craving these classes. I wanted to attend them. And with every class I was becoming more and more inspired by the instructors that were pushing me past my limits. 

When I started working out I could only complete 8 push-ups, on my knees. I could only do 1 on my toes. And even that 1 push-up was a challenge. 

I have an instructor who insists that the class does push-ups on toes. She truly believes that everyone is capable. I used to think that she was full of shit. But I tried and tried to do push-ups on my toes and not my knees. 

Then one day I was working out on my own, and I was able to bust out 10 push-ups on my toes. And that is the moment when I realized that I loved fitness. That was the moment that I was finally inspired with myself. Yes, the instructor is the only reason that I even tried to do push-ups on my toes, but I am the one that did them. I am the one who built up my strength. I am the one who can now do tons of push-ups on my toes and not even give it a second thought.

That is why I love fitness. Because with every passing day, my body is changing. I have not lost a pound in nearly 8 months. Not one. But I continue to work out because I love it. Because I am constantly challenging myself. I am constantly in competition with myself. And even though my weight is currently in a plateau, I know my body is changing.

Now don't get me wrong, there are some days when I would rather lick a toilet than go to the gym. Seriously.

Some days I am not in the mind set for the gym, but I go anyway. And every once in awhile, if I am lucky, something completely amazing happens. I start my work out and suddenly I stop looking at the clock. I lose track of time, and I am in my own world. I am unaware of the people that are around me, and I am captivated by my work out. I am completely connected to every single set, and rep that I am doing.

Then suddenly 2 hours have passed and I leave the gym feeling strong, proud, and happy. This is why I love fitness. I have found nothing else in this entire world that makes me feel this way. That makes me feel confident, and humble at the same time. That makes me feel like I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. That is why I love fitness.

Not only has fitness changed my body, it has changed my mind. In the last year I have become much more optimistic. I feel happy more often, and I don't feel the need to compare myself to others. This is my journey. My life. My work out. And I am completely thankful that I have found such a love for fitness!

Healthy Cookies!

If you read the title, you might be thinking to yourself: "ummm cookies are not healthy." But these are!

Recently I was catching up on Crafty Healthy Mommy's blog, and I found a recipe for healthy banana oatmeal cookies. Only two ingredients are required, ripe bananas, and oatmeal. Seriously, that's it.

I was so intrigued that I had to try it. Luckily bananas, and oatmeal are a pretty standard staple in my diet, so I had both items in my pantry. The recipe calls for 2 bananas, and 1 cup of oatmeal. Could it really get any easier?

For my first try I split the batter in half and tried adding different things. For one half all I added was some vanilla, and cinnamon. For the other half I added some chocolate pb2, and cinnamon. Then I spread the mixture on my cookie sheet, and set it in the oven (350 degrees) for like 10 minutes.

I have found that a full batch (1 cup oatmeal, 2 bananas) makes around 16 cookies. You could make them bigger or smaller depending on your preference. And because these cookies do not rise at all, make sure you plop them on the baking sheet in the exact size you want.

The verdict: I really loved the texture, I felt like I was eating a cookie. However I thought they tasted a little bland. But I am thinking that's because I didn't use a ripe enough banana.

I have since made a ton of more of these, trying different ingredients. The riper the banana, the better. Also I like to add a bunch of cinnamon and a small sprinkle of truvia. I also think coconut would be a great addition. And if you don't care about keeping them too healthy, chocolate or butterscotch chips would be heavenly.

I made like 3 batches of these, and brought them with me for my 4th of July weekend. It was the perfect thing to bring. I could eat them for breakfast, a drunken snack, or a dessert. And they actually lasted at least 5 days without getting spoiled. I put some in the fridge, but I actually prefer when they are not cold. And cold or not they did not spoil!

I am sure I will be trying out more batches with different add-ins, and when I find the perfect combination I will be sure to share!

Healthy-ish Weekend

Just like everyone and their uncle, this past weekend I spent the 4 day holiday weekend at the lake, which just happens to be my hometown. I spent 4 days avoiding public places in fear of running into people I knew from high school. Good times.

This is a view from my house. 

Pelican Lake in Breezy Point, MN.

For me, trips home always entail unhealthy eating. Luckily, I no longer feel the need for unhealthy snacks for the drive home. It's only a 2 1/2 hour trip, but I used to use the trip as an excuse to buy chips or tornadoes from the gas station.

The unhealthy eating occurs because I have a few favorite local spots that I want to dine at while home. These favorites include pizza with white sauce, hash browns with cheese and onions, and an ice cream parlor. The flavor I got this time was called Pirates Booty, and it tastes like cotton candy, swirled with caramel with little chocolate pieces mixed in. It may not sound awesome, but it's seriously to die for. I want another cone right now.

Since I knew that I was going to be dining out several times throughout my trip, I decided that it was probably a good idea for me to pack healthy snacks for all the other meals. I was extremely proud of myself because my snacks included veggies (peppers, carrots, and pea pods), hummus, veggie burgers, fake jerky, and fruit. No chips, no crackers, and no cookies.

Granted there was beer and vodka also packed with the healthy snacks, but I mixed all my cocktails with sparkling water. And as we all know, I am not cutting cocktails out of my diet!

So even though I enjoyed pizza, ice cream, and beer while on vacation, I broke my unhealthy snacking cycle. Which for me is huge! Remember, weight loss is completely built on taking baby steps until those baby steps are habits. And I sure hope that my healthy vacation snacking becomes a habit!

Jazzing Up Cocktails

It's no secret that I love to drink some dranks when given the opportunity. I do pretty well when mixing drinks at home. I typically use Crystal Light as a mixer. Even on vacation I packed Crystal Light packets in my suitcase. My favorite is raspberry lemonade, but truly all of them except the peach tea are good when mixed with alcohol.

My roommate and me at a beach that was a half hour away from our condo, and we still brought  crystal light with. Dedication? I think so! What I wouldn't give to go back in time to this moment....Ugh, real life sucks. 

Back to the point. The problem comes when I am out at the bar, it's not like I can ask for a crystal light and vodka, or can I? Let me back up a little. In my fat girl days I would typically drink vodka collins (aka a shirley temple with vodka), a long island ice tea, or a gin and cranberry.

Then I decided I needed to shape up my act a little so I switched over to gin tonics. Little did I know that most tonic is filled with calories and sugar. For awhile I would ask places for diet tonic but most bartenders looked at me like I was crazy. It's the same kind of look that McDonalds employees give me when I ask for a breakfast sandwich without the meat.

After that I tried drinking gin soda, or vodka soda but I found that drinking rail booze mixed with club soda is like drinking watered down poison. And yes, most of the time I drink rail booze, I'm on a budget! However, there is a bar in my neighborhood that has $1 U-call-its on Thursdays...Can we say trouble?

Anyway, in an effort to keep my mixers lower in calorie I started drinking whiskey and diet, or rum and diet. And that has pretty much been my drink of choice for the last few months. Although someone once told me that mixing alcohol with diet soda gets you drunk faster. Eh, that's fine with me, I would rather be a cheap date. Remember, I am on a budget.

Then one day I was talking to a friend and I said "If I ever own a bar I am going to have crystal light on tap." And that was when the idea struck. Recently there have been a lot of companies that have come out with liquid water enhancers.

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The liquid enhancers allow you individualize any glass of water because you can put in as little or as many drops of flavoring as you would like. At first I thought the idea was so dumb. I have never had any trouble drinking plain ole' water. But if you apply this idea to alcoholic beverages, I am on board!

I went out and bought a bottle of strawberry lemonade crystal light flavor enhancer and threw it in my purse for a night out. This is one of the best ideas I have ever had. I can order vodka sodas, and then just add a little bit of flavoring so that my cheap rail drink doesn't taste like complete death.

I try to be sneaky about dropping in the flavor liquids, just in case the bar wouldn't like me adding outside stuff.

My roommate and I have now collected 4 flavors. From Crystal Light we have tried the strawberry lemonade, and peach bellini. The strawberry lemonade is best when mixed with vodka sodas, and I prefer the peach with gin.

From Dasani we have the pineapple coconut which mixes well with whiskey soda. And then from Mio we have mango peach, which is good with just about anything. I don't bring all the flavors out with me, I usually pick a flavor and then shove it in my clutch for a night out. My current favorite is the peach bellini!

Cottage Cheese Frosting? Say Whaaat?

Follow my blog with Bloglovin! I love reading blogs when people share food ideas. It gives me new and creative ideas for what I could be eating. For example, I would have never found out about Quest Nutrition Bars if I did not follow healthy bloggers on instagram. And Quest bars are my new addiction. These are definitely not everyone's cup of tea, but I love them. They are really good when you heat it up for about 15 seconds, like a warm cookie or something. Plus it has 20 grams of protein, 4 grams of non-fiber carbs, and no sugar alcohols or artificial sweeteners!

I also came across Petite Athleat, and naturally I started stalking all of her blog posts. She has a lot of interesting but genius food ideas. For example, she makes frosting out of cottage cheese. At first I thought that sounded a little crazy, but after I tried it I realized that it is complete brilliance.

All I did was put a serving of cottage cheese into my magic bullet with some sugar free syrup, a dash of vanilla, and a sprinkle of truvia. Then I pulsed the mixture for about a minute, and bam, just like that I had protein frosting!

Again, it may not be everyone's cup of tea, you definitely have to like cottage cheese. It's a little sour, but I think it tastes like cream cheese frosting.

This morning I was craving something sweet for breakfast, the minute I opened the pantry I knew that I wanted a quest bar. So for breakfast I threw a coconut cashew quest bar into the microwave, and then topped it with some cottage cheese frosting, and a few raspberries! It was so tasty, and a low calorie, protein packed breakfast.

Doesn't that frosting look delicious? 

Losing Instructors

I have two instructors at my gym that I just adore. They have taught me almost everything I know about fitness, hard work, and endurance. Because they pushed me out of my comfort levels I was able to start losing weight.

Both of them are leaving my gym. I am just heartbroken.

One of them teaches Cardio Kick, and she is incredible. Her intensity is always high, she doesn't allow slacking, and she pushes you to do more than you ever thought your body would be capable of. She even once said "After this set I want you to be so exhausted that you feel like you are going to puke!" I love her.

However, about 2 months ago she tore a muscle in her foot, and she is now gone indefinitely. Her replacement is a girl who used to attend our class and just recently became a group fitness instructor. Sometimes she is awesome, and keeps the intensity up. Other times she is weak and I barely feel like I had a work out. I am sure she is just trying to figure out her groove. The only problem is that I am giving her feedback to kick up the intensity but new people to the class are telling her that the pace is hard. Hopefully she will listen to me, those newbies will be thankful later!

The next instructor teaches High Intensity Interval Training, Circuit, an aerobic Step class, and Chisel, which is a weight lifting class. She has been a fitness instructor for like 35 years, she is a fitness guru. She has taught me the proper form in every single exercise, and she has shown me that hard work yields results.

She is the reason that I have been able to push my body to lift heavier objects. I used to let my mind get in the way, a lot. The minute I would start to feel a burn I would stop lifting. She told me to push myself past the burn and I would begin to see results. She was right. I started the class with 6 pound dumbbells, now I hover between 12-15 pound dumbbells.

She also advocates doing push-ups on your toes. I used to think she was nuts. When I started going to her classes I could barely complete 3 push-ups on my toes. Last night I was able to complete 50 out of 75 push-ups on my toes. Not 50 in a row, about 15 at a time, taking small breaks on my knees. Regardless, before I could never have completed 75 push-ups, even on my knees.

She makes me feel powerful, and I always leave her classes high on endorphins.

She is taking a year off to live abroad, and she leaves at the end of August. Luckily her replacement is also a girl from our class, and I am confident that she will be able to keep the intensity up. Every single class that she attends she goes complete beast mode. I am always in awe when I watch her.

For awhile I was panicking about their departures. However, I have now realized that they have given me the tools I need for a successful workout. I was lucky enough to get to work with them for a year, but now it's time to start learning from new people. And because I now know what an intense work out should look like I will be able to kick up my intensity level in any class!

22nd Birthday

My birthday is September 4th. My aha moment was October 31st. The picture that sparked my aha moment was from my 22nd birthday.

September 4th and October 31st are almost two months away. So you may be wondering why it took 2 months for me to get my ass in gear. Well, this picture did not actually get posted until Halloween. My roommate posted a fall photo album onto facebook and my birthday party was included. And just in case you need a reminder of what my scary/fat photo looked like, here it is:

The whole album was an eye opening experience, because this was not the only bad one. Here are a few more: 

Look at the size of those boobs. In the picture below I am trying to hide the cleavage....

Damn, these photos are hard to look at. But it's nice to know that I do not look this way any longer. My boobs have dropped like 4 cup sizes! FOUR! 

Anyway, I was thinking back to my 22nd birthday, and I was remembering how insecure I was about myself. For my birthday we went to a dueling piano bar. And at this bar it's common for birthday people to get called to stage, jump on the piano and be serenaded.

I did not want this. I did not want this at all. I thought that everyone in my party was very aware of how much I did not want for this to happen. I was wrong. One of my friends put in a request for me to be called up to stage. 

I was livid. I was more than livid. I was terrified, embarrassed, nervous, disgusted, mortified, etc. I was so distressed at the thought of having to go up on stage and having to hoist myself onto a piano that I started to feel light headed.

I immediately ran to the bathroom to hide. All I kept thinking was that everyone at the bar would have to see me try and hoist my obese body up onto the piano. And I knew that I would fail. That I would not be able to get myself onto this somewhat tall piano. And I was sure that everyone in the bar would be thinking "damn, that girl needs to lose some weight, she can't even lift herself onto a piano." 

In reality maybe no one would have been thinking that, but at the time I was so convinced that everyone would be starring at me in disgust. In the bathroom I was starring at myself in disgust. After sitting in the bathroom long enough that my name was called, I emerged, grabbed my roommate, and stormed out of the bar. 

I cried myself to sleep that night. I remember feeling so gross about myself. I felt irrational. What kind of person doesn't enjoy some birthday attention? Instead of loving my birthday, I spent the end of the evening feeling overwhelmed, and unhappy with myself. 

After my birthday I knew that I needed to change something, but I didn't have the motivation yet.  It wasn't until two months later when I saw those photos and remembered that night that I was finally ready. I finally had the motivation that I needed to start. 

At one time I loathed the photos that are above. I could barely look at them. I was mad at my roommate for posting them. Why would she post such awful pictures of me? But now I realize that they saved my life. They gave me what I needed. And for that I am grateful. 

My journey to a hot bod has not been perfect, far from it. It's been frustrating, intimidating, and a complete emotional roller coaster. Sometimes I feel like giving up, or just staying at my current weight. But seeing those photos and remembering that night gives me another jolt of motivation. I am ready to beat this plateau!

Oh, and in case you were wondering, this year for my 23rd birthday we went back to the dueling piano bar. And I got up on the piano, willingly. I still had some trouble hoisting myself up there, but  the difference was that I was no longer embarrassed of the body that I worked so hard to get. Maybe when I turn 24 I will be able to leap up on the piano with agility, I'll keep my fingers crossed!