Lose, Gain, or Maintain

At the start of December my Weight Watchers leader asked all of us to decide if we wanted to lose, gain or maintain weight over the holiday season. Like the foolish but hopeful dieter that I am, I chose to lose.

Food has such a strong hold over me and my emotions. I have let food win the battle for most of my life. But not anymore. I wanted to prove to myself that I could lose weight during the holiday season. When I first pledged that I wanted to lose weight, I may have been delusional. But by deciding that I wanted to lose the weight, I was much more motivated to stay on track.

And I did it! I lost weight through the holiday season! I kept up a normal gym schedule, and even managed to go to the gym for 6 days a week during December. I also cut back my drinking...a lot. And I didn't indulge over the holidays. I only had 1 cookie on Christmas eve, and 1 brownie on Christmas. I ate small portions and lots of fruits and veggies, which was a drag but worth it!

Every time I was faced with that dreaded paper plate full of assorted Christmas cookies, I always asked myself: "will you regret eating that more than you will enjoy eating that?" And the answer was always YES! I always regret eating bad things, and so I just need to remember that in the moment.

I was at a party, and some asshole literally waved the cookie plate in front of my face, so I could smell the sugary goodness. I rolled my eyes, and said hell no! Then I ran to the other side of the room, in an attempt to hide from the cookie plate. I have made progress but damn, when something is sitting in front of me for a long period of time, I will inevitably give in.

I have also had an aha moment in my dieting that has strengthened my will power. Every time that I hit a plateau in my weight, I would get really mad and think "ugh, I am eating so much better than I was before. Why is this weight not coming off? I am no longer eating pizza, or ranch or mac and cheese. What more could I do?"

The problem is that I never stopped to think about what I was still consuming. No, I wasn't eating pizza, but my eating still wasn't perfect. If I reflected on my eating, there were still things that I could have cut from my diet. My body doesn't know what I am not eating, it only knows what I consume. It doesn't know that I avoided eating pizza, but it does know that I had extra cheese on my salad. Does that make sense? I know it's weird to refer to my body as an 'it', but whatever, it works for me.

Once I started paying more attention what I was still consuming, my weight has been coming off much more consistently. So this is what fueled my will power during Christmas, and New Years. Although, in true New Years style, I drank my weight in vodka. At least I drank a shit ton of water throughout the night and didn't eat a bunch of shit when I was hungover the next day. Huge improvement, even from a month ago!

And because I have a new found love for bragging, here are my stats:

October 22: 194 lbs
November 30: 191 lbs
December 17: 187 lbs
January 2: 181 lbs

My weight took a huge leap down right before Christmas, but I am pretty sure I can thank the lack of alcohol for that. It's depressing to know that if I cut alcohol from my diet that I could drop weight faster. It's unfortunate because I am not going to give up drinking. My life would be so dull without it. Sad but true.