Oh What a Year!

I started blogging at around this time last year. I obviously do not blog on a regular basis, just when I feel like bragging, or complaining. I remembered last year I wrote a post about being in a plateau, and needing to have limits on certain foods. A year ago I was so new to the dieting world. I was confused and I did not feel confident with my eating.

I finally feel like I have everything figured out. I mean, I am still currently in a weight plateau, but I am done stressing about it. I wish I was thinner but I no longer hate my body, so I just need to take a chill pill (do people still say chill pill?) and relax a bit. I have the tools to be successful, so I just need to pipe the fuck down, and be happy with how far that I have come.

In order to do this I am going to attempt to stay off the scale until the end of March. This could be a great plan or a really bad one. It will be really depressing if I step on the scale in April and I've gained 5 pounds, but then I will write a post bitching about my metabolism know that I have to weigh myself more frequently.

But it's interesting reflecting on the last year, and what sort of changes have come about. I feel and look like a different person.

I no longer feel like I am trapped in the body of a fat girl. Prior to starting this journey I did not find myself attractive. I felt like a lot of guys were off limits to me because who would want to be with some who was obese? 

I no longer feel that a lot of guys are off limits. I no longer feel like a fat girl. I no longer feel ugly. I still have a very, very tough time admitting that I am attractive. But if a guy tells me that I am pretty I no longer think he is lying, so there's that.

I know that so many people say that they get fit for themselves, but that is not why I started. In all honesty I was tired of being the fat friend. I was tired of looking for equally fat guys to date. I was tired of being turned down by the equally fat guys because society still accepts fat guys more than fat girls. I was sick of putting on clothes that were too tight. I was sick of looking in the mirror and hating myself. So I may have started this journey for vanity reasons, but does that matter? It gave me the kick in the ass that I needed and now I am a healthier version of myself, physically and emotionally.

St Patrick's Day: 

2012: 226ish lbs 

2013: 177ish lbs

 

I look at the above picture and just shake my head. My face was so damn round. Like double chin and no jaw definition. And I had already lost like 20 pounds. The girl on the left was so unhappy, don't let that drunken shit grin fool you.

Since this picture I have lost around 50ish pounds. I have also changed my make-up techniques, a lot. First of all, look at the difference coloring my eye brows makes, it totally defines my face. I have also learned how to define and contour my face. All of this may sound superficial but I don't care because I like the person that I have become, and that is all that matters!

Oh and I did not do well with drinking on a diet this past weekend. So much damn beer, and a shit ton of jello shots. But I had a fucking blast. I love day drinking. It's probably better that I am not weighing myself today.....