Having a Second Aha Moment!

I decided about 2 weeks ago that I was going to stop weighing myself until the end of March. I had not dropped a pound since Christmas, and I was stressing out every time I would step on the scale. I work hard at the gym, and I like what I see in the mirror, but I would always let the scale ruin that happiness.

I was getting diet and gym obsessed.
In order to get my weight moving I was basically depriving myself of anything enjoyable.
I felt like I was starving myself as safely as I could.
Like I was punishing myself.
I knew the stress of weight loss was getting to me,
and it wasn't helping anything.

So for my own sanity I decided to lay off the scale,
stop tracking foods, and focus on intuition.
I was still regularly going to the gym,
and eating healthy foods,
however I ended up gaining weight.
Womp womp.

Without the scale to keep me accountable,
I let myself slip.
Not a lot, but enough.
By not weighing myself I wasn't as connected to my weight loss.
I was becoming content with my body.
I had lost motivation.
I had forgotten what it felt like to battle obesity.

Prior to breaking up with the scale I was teetering between 177-179.
I weighed myself last week and I was between 180-182.

This is not terrible. I am sure I can bounce back pretty quickly. But lemme tell ya, there is nothing more frustrating than having to lose weight that you have already lost.
I said good bye to the 180s back in December.
I vowed that I would never be there again.
Yet here I am, flirting with the 180s, again.

It was over the weekend that I feel like I had my second major aha moment. I was becoming content with my body, which is a good thing. So many people hate their bodies, and I am proud to say that I no longer hate mine.
However, I don't love it.
I still have weight that I want to lose.
I still have areas of my body (my gut, my arms, and inner thighs) that I want to tone up.
I still have work that needs to be done.

I think I would just cry if I saw 183, or 184.
I would feel like I am falling back into my old ways.
I cannot let this happen. I must get my head back in the game.
And that is when I had my second aha moment.

It's time to buckle down again. To measure every.single.thing that I put into my mouth, even cocktails! Oh the horror!

I need to become strict with my eating, and dedicated with my gym going.
It's time to kick my sorry ass back into consistent weight loss.
And I know it's possible because the aha moment brought me the clarity, motivation, and will power that I needed!
I have reconnected with my journey.

Today I have started tracking points again. I measured out my egg whites, and stayed away from unnecessary snacking.
It's not fun.
I hate feeling chained to a food diary, but it's what I need to do for the next week or so.

I have also vowed to bring more activity into my life.
Interrupt my sitting more often.
Moving around.
Fidgeting.
Walking.
Cleaning.
Whatever I gotta do to keep myself moving.

We'll see how it goes!